May 2012
15 posts
I called, You answered.
So tomorrow’s my baptism. Yet certain… Stuff happened along the way.
First time running and crying my heart out. Priceless experience. They say endorphins are released within your body when you exercise. True, the pain wasn’t that epic and felt like there was a layer of something slightly easing the pain. Nonetheless it was still pain from within and I can’t imagine how...
I need to sleep easy, as easy as 1,2,3.
I’m so afraid, frightened, scared. I cry. I stop, knowing that life goes on and that eventually everything will be alright.
Then I realise without you, I won’t ever be complete. Everything will perhaps be alright, but not complete and beautiful like before.
So I continue, and I can’t stop this time.
If it makes you happy, as long as it does.
Tried talking to you about how I feel about certain petty issues for the past 8 months and yet it always end up in ugly quarrels. Yes I know very well that those are petty things and I agree but nonetheless.
So I learnt the hard way to keep them inside. I built walls. A different kind. Not to keep people out, but to keep a monster within and pray hard that it doesn’t destroy me along with...
Let's start with the first 10
1. How you’re like a kid when you discover new words and use them profusely.
2. How you smell.
3. The way you smile.
4. How you drop pickup jokes randomly in our conversations.
5. Your heart of gold. The way you go out of your way to do things the right way.
6. The way you stare at me.
7. The way you hold my hand.
8. Naughty sexual innuendos you drop suddenly and randomly.
9....
Never been so broken
This is either no one’s fault or both our fault. But what matter does that make.
You’ve shown me so much over these past 8 months. Shown me love that I’ve never experienced and taught me how to love. Which is why this hurts so damn much and why I’m so broken now.
It would be easy to say that I wish I’ve never met you, never fell for you. But I wouldn’t have...
The only exception
I never believed in taking breaks in a relationships. Just like how I never believed in “The One”.
But I believed in you.
“I want you to be the one who loves me.
I want to be the one who loves you.”
– The Lover’s Dictionary (via anditslove)
Am I?
Han tweeted “…bro’s gf @nutsontheloose…” wow gf. It’s been more than 8 months and the term “gf” still makes me feel queer and yet honoured in a weird way.
But yeah you’re right, “wife” would be so much more apt.
April 2012
19 posts
Because of that trust
I had in you.
That’s why this fear swept me off my feet and made me nauseous. Sick.
What you weren't interested in
It was all white and simple. Just you, our parents and I. Those were all who were there in that simple house of God.
Seemed like it was just tomorrow without the elaborate scene I had in mind about how this union between us would be. There, you promised that that perfect wedding would come through in years to come but it all didn’t matter then. It was just you, our parents, God and I in...
“The word passion comes from the root word “patior,” meaning to suffer. To feel...”
– bell hooks (via loveyourchaos)
March 2012
113 posts
Me before I eat: Should I eat? I should. It's okay, it's just an apple. I need to eat. I'm so hungry. I'm going to eat fuck this.
Me after I eat: Why did I eat. Fuck I'm so fat and stupid and weak. I should purge. Why did I eat. I'm so stupid. God why the fuck did I do that.
